a-freakin-men!
I've been job hunting. just looking around. something to make us a little more comfortable while we wait on Svend's job to pick up (in a year or two).
This quote has been on my mind a lot over the past few days. I found it, hand written, in my handwriting, on my floor the other day. I sent it to Svend and related it to being in Texas…in his job…etc.
today I relate it to being a stay at home mom and woman trying to "get my body back."
First the body thing. Bergen asked me innocently the other day "mom, do you every try to exercise to get skinny?" Of course, this was toward the end of my workout and sweat was falling by the buckets off my face… nope. I just work out to stay fat. it's fun, isn't it? I'm wasting my time here. in this moment. exercising for nothing. no results. nothing. but am I?
I told him you don't work out to get skinny. You are naturally skinny or fat (believe what you want, but I am riding that train!). You workout to be healthy and get muscles. I work out so I won't be too tired to play with everyone (andI'm training for a tri).
Now..to the Stay at home mom gig…
It's hard. It's hard not to contribute financially. there are working moms ALL around me. Nearly everyone that Svend works with is a mom. My brain on the other hand has turned to mush. It's hard to see the same "results" or "accomplishments" that my friends see in their jobs. But in reality, none of my friends are working moms (maybe a few…). So why this drive? I don't know. It hits me every few months. Ideas that I should be working.I need a skill. Something that could help our family. Swimming doesn't help. Health ed doesn't help. But would the pay be enough to compensate losing my kids to day care? No. I would want something I could do part time…when Svend has a day off. In 3 years, Anders will be in Kindergarten. By that point, we won't "need" the money (hopefully). It just feels so wasted sometimes. This is my constant struggle. Svend. is. awesome. He want's me to stay home. As much as it hurts financially, it really is the best and only option.
I just need to get back in the groove of being a stay at home mom to 5 kids now that summer is here. Be happy now. Not let the adversary tell me I am wasting my time here…in my home…not making money…but can I make memories?!?!?
FHE monday, we went to the fountains in Allen. they were closed. I suggested we run through some sprinklers. Svend actually agreed and searched for some. Found them at whole-foods. BEST FHE in a long time. Kids will remember forever (or at least a while). That was a blast. Svend even led everyone through a line of hitting all the high power sprinklers. we had several onlookers---making it even more awesome :)
Today it rained aLL day. the kids watched a lot of tv. I took a 2 hour nap :). I took the girls and anders outside to play in the street (the lightening and thunder had stopped) and we had so much fun. We finally dragged the boys out. So fun watching them run down the street back and forth in the water, racing leaves, splashing, etc. we made a lot of people smile as they drove past :)
memories. not money. I need to remember that. tomorrow is new day.
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